Chapter 43 – Hold Me

“Miss?”

“Get out!”

Complete silence enveloped the hallway outside the boudoir.

Dou Qingyue sat fuming on a small rosewood stool, deeply regretting her ill-timed return. If she had arrived just a bit earlier, even a moment sooner, her cousin’s bride wouldn’t have been Cui the Blind.

But it was too late to lament now.

If this was her fate, she refused to accept it.

How long had Cui Ti known Pei Xuan? Her own bond with her older male cousin spanned over ten years—how many decades does one get in a lifetime?

From the moment she accidentally discovered that Pei Xuan was a woman, she resolved to be her future wife, to accompany her, to drape a cloak over her when it was cold, and to prepare sour plum soup for her when it was hot.

She wanted to be her closest lover in this world, her most loyal confidante, guarding the Pei Family’s deceptive secret.

Dou Qingyue coughed twice into her handkerchief, her face pale.

Immortals rarely involve themselves in mortal matters, and now that her elder had left, it was up to her to fight openly and covertly.

She wouldn’t concede; Cui Ti, let’s see who wins in the end!

“Yue’er?”

Madam Dou, worried, stopped outside and knocked softly on the door. “Yue’er, it’s Mom.”

The door swung open, revealing Dou Qingyue in plain white clothes, her brows and eyes showing a frail charm. “Mom, what brings you here?”

She stepped aside to let her mother in.

A mother always feels for her own child. Madam Dou looked her up and down. “You haven’t left your room for days; how could I not be worried?”

She came from a family of military commanders and married a renowned great general of the court. They had only one daughter, born after Madam Dou had injured herself while accompanying her husband on a campaign during her pregnancy. This resulted in their daughter being less robust than others since birth.

To make up for their frail daughter, Madam Dou and her husband lavished all their love on her.

Dou Qingyue nestled into her mother’s embrace like a little girl. “I heard cousin’s wife is ill, and my older male cousin has taken seven days of leave because of it. Mom, I’m not feeling well.”

She had been pampered since childhood, given the stars if she asked for them, and aside from her inherent frailty, she had always been indulged by others both at home and outside. But in matters of marriage, she had suffered a significant setback.

Madam Dou knew her daughter’s heart was entirely set on Pei Xuan, but Xuan’er was already married. The Dou Family’s daughter could never become someone’s concubine; it was entirely inappropriate.

Madam Dou comforted, “That’s their life, Yue’er. First, we need to live our own life well.”

“But I just can’t feel at ease. I’m jealous of cousin’s wife.”

Her family assumed she was just throwing a tantrum, not taking it to heart. Madam Dou didn’t notice the fleeting venom in her daughter’s eyes. She patted Dou Qingyue’s back, “Yue’er, even though I love you dearly, I’ve told you before, you mustn’t cause trouble for your cousin.”

“Mom!”

“My dear Yue’er, don’t always keep your eyes on your cousin. There are plenty of good men in Xi Jing. Should I help you look again?”

Dou Qingyue knew well how to evoke sympathy, and her frailty was not feigned. She tilted her head and coughed softly, “Anyone I find, will they be better than my cousin?”

Pei Xuan was already one of the most outstanding young men in Xi Jing. Madam Dou also adored this nephew. She couldn’t lie, so she gently persuaded, “They might be more suitable for you than your cousin.”

No matter how excellent her nephew was, he was already a married man. How could her daughter shamelessly chase after him?

Seeing that her mother wouldn’t relent, Dou Qingyue slumped, her eyes drooping, looking pitiful, “Mom, seeing me like this, will anyone still want me?”

Her frail body meant she couldn’t bear children for her husband’s family, which would cause endless trouble. Even if someone was attracted to her beauty and youth, that beauty would eventually fade, and she couldn’t risk it all.

Pei Xuan was her best option. His character, appearance, talent, and even gender were all to her liking.

He had a scholarly aura that made her feel incredibly secure, as if having him by her side meant she would always walk in the gentle spring breeze.

To be kissed, to be illuminated, to be nourished, to be cherished.

Dou Qingyue couldn’t resist such a powerful allure. She tugged at her mother’s sleeve, “Mom, I want to visit the Pei Residence.”

Her stubbornness was evident, and Madam Dou saw it, felt it deeply, and regretted her past decisions.

If she hadn’t been so strong-willed back then, she wouldn’t have hurt herself and affected her pregnancy, causing Qingyue to have so many concerns about marriage.

With a mother’s heart, she sighed deeply, “Yue’er, it’s my fault.”

“Mom…”

Dou Qingyue hugged her tightly, “Mom, do you agree to let me go?”

“…”

What else could she do?

It’s better to guide than to block.

Madam Dou smiled helplessly, “Your heart’s not here; can I tie you down?”

After a heartfelt conversation with her mother, Dou Qingyue respectfully saw her off. The day was clear, with light clouds and a gentle breeze. She turned and instructed, “Prepare the carriage, we’re going to the Chancellor’s Residence.”

At the Pei Family’s residence, Pei Xuan was unaware that her younger female cousin could not forget her even in this life. She was busy finishing an unfinished letter of accountability.

Once the letter was written, she sent a servant to the Xining Count’s residence.

Cui Ti’s suffering could not go unaddressed.

Even if the Xining Count and his wife were biased, they had to give her a proper explanation this time.

Otherwise…

Her brows furrowed coldly.

Even a rabbit will bite when cornered. She just preferred not to wield power to oppress others, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t.

She rubbed her sore wrist. After six days of “excess,” it wasn’t just Cui Ti who couldn’t bear it. If Titi woke up any later, Pei Xuan couldn’t guarantee her hand would still be as dexterous as before.

“Where’s the Young Madam?”

She stepped out and asked Bai Tang, who was passing by.

These days, Bai Tang looked at her with admiration akin to seeing an immortal—solving problems by sleeping was so outrageous, yet the gentleman managed it. Truly impressive!

“The Young Madam is feeding the rabbits in the backyard.”

Feeding the rabbits?

Pei Xuan’s stomach growled, and she thought of spicy rabbit head again.

In the backyard, Haozhong and Raoliang were accompanying the Young Madam.

Cui Ti had gone through an illness, causing everyone to worry. The rabbits in the yard, fed sporadically, visibly lost weight.

Hearing from Raoliang that the fluffy rabbits had slimmed down, Cui Ti became interested in feeding them. When Pei Xuan arrived, she saw Cui Ti feeding the rabbits with carrot tops.

“Hurry and eat.”

She urged the little rabbits softly.

Seeing her smiling husband not far away, Haozhong and Raoliang quietly withdrew. Pei Xuan tiptoed closer, “Do you want to see the rabbits?”

The vast world suddenly lit up, brightening Cui Ti’s eyes.

Despite feeling shy about recent events, she nodded, “Yes.”

Every time she said “yes,” it was like a tender willow branch brushing over a calm lake, stirring ripples in the heart with the sudden spring breeze.

Pei Xuan was an out-and-out scholar. In her youth, not yet the backbone of the court, her face was thin-skinned. Blushing, she bent down to open the rabbit cage.

The scent of her was delightful. Despite the vastness of the world, Cui Ti could only see her. She stared intently, unable to look away, watching as the tips of Pei Xuan’s ears turned bright red. The young and dashing “legitimate son of the Pei Family,” clumsy with her hands, nearly got bitten by a rabbit.

Six days of hard work had taught this Zhuangyuan the importance of her hands. Sensing danger, she hastily withdrew.

The plump, half-grown rabbit glared at her with red eyes, its short tail wagging furiously. Pei Xuan stood there, dumbfounded. Having eaten rabbits for years, she never expected to be intimidated by one.

Titi was still watching.

She felt utterly embarrassed but unwilling to give up, she tried again. The rabbit, inside the cage, stomped its feet and breathed heavily in agitation.

“…”

Heaven help her, she didn’t want to eat spicy rabbit head; she just wanted to hold a rabbit to please her lovely wife.

Pei Xuan looked innocent.

Standing nearby, Cui Ti’s eyes curved with laughter. Benefiting from Pei Xuan’s light, she also saw the extremely temperamental rabbit. Amused, she asked, “What did you do to it?”

“It’s your beloved pet, what could I do to it?”

This rabbit was about to turn the world upside down.

Could it be a female rabbit?

She secretly wondered, feeling a bit aggrieved: Even if it’s female, it shouldn’t be angry with her; she’s not its old flame.

“Why don’t you help me soothe it?”

She sought Cui Ti’s assistance.

Cui Ti softly replied, “I’ll give it a try.”

Pei Xuan held her hand and guided it towards the rabbit. The rabbit, indeed, treated them differently. It would jump at her touch, but with Cui Ti, it became as gentle as a ball of cotton, pliant under her hands.

How peculiar.

Was she really so unwelcomed?

The most sought-after Gentleman Pei in Xi Jing briefly doubted herself. Cui Ti placed the rabbit into Pei Xuan’s arms, and holding it, Pei Xuan’s eyebrows softened like spring water: “If you like it, you can pet it more.”

So Cui Ti petted the rabbit. She smiled as she looked at her Niangzi, the sunlight falling warmly and romantically, setting the perfect atmosphere.

A precious moment of tranquility.

The straightforward, intense gaze fell on her face, her shoulders. Cui Ti felt a subtle heat spreading through her body. Those deeply hidden, secretive feelings blossomed on her skin, as if the passion Pei Xuan had left on her was still fermenting.

Her legs trembled, the soreness becoming increasingly hard to ignore. Her eyes suddenly lifted, locking directly into Pei Xuan’s clear and sincere gaze.

“Titi, you are so beautiful.”

“…”

The stunning impression of their first meeting did not fade with time; instead, it renewed daily, nightly.

Seeing her, even just a glance, was enough to enchant her soul perfectly.

Not too much, not too little—just right. It was what she loved, something she couldn’t afford to miss, as if she had already missed too many chances. If she didn’t hold on to her completely now, she’d never forgive herself.

Cui Ti bit her lip, straightening her legs to keep from collapsing. Her hand, which had been petting the rabbit, somehow found its way to Pei Xuan’s shoulder: “You, you need to help me back to rest.”

Staying here longer might lead to something terrible.

Her legs were about to give out.

It proved that indulging too much was indeed bad; who knew when her body would remember this feeling and inconveniently remind her how much she loved her.

The temperamental rabbit was returned to its cage, and Pei Xuan took Cui Ti’s hand, ready to head back to their room.

A maid came to report: “Gentleman, Young Madam, cousin miss has arrived.”

Dou Qingyue had come under the pretense of visiting her cousin’s wife. Madam Pei warmly received her, mentioning Cui Ti’s “illness” with veiled words.

Seeing this, Dou Qingyue tactfully refrained from asking more, knowing full well the root of the problem.

“Xuan’er is here. You two chat; I have something to attend to and will be back shortly.”

“Aunt, take care.”

She stood up to see her off.

Madam Pei, passing by her daughter at the door, said, “Treat A Yue well. No bullying.”

Pei Xuan smiled and agreed.

Taking advantage of the moment, Dou Qingyue had the chance to take a good look at the resilient Cui Ti.

Her cousin’s wife, though blind, looked rosy and vibrant, nothing like someone who had returned from the brink of death. Instead, there was an indescribable allure about her, almost as if she had been completely opened up, exuding a different kind of energy and spirit.

That delicate waist, the way she stood—she looked so fragile, as if she longed to lean into her “cousin’s” embrace.

Dou Qingyue was uncertain, unable to determine if the two had truly consummated their marriage.

Her older male cousin was, in fact, a woman. Besides her, was there really someone else who didn’t mind her true identity?

“A Yue? A Yue?”

“Hmm?”

Pei Xuan looked at her with concern: “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Dou Qingyue quickly lowered her head. “It’s been a while since we last met. I heard cousin’s wife was ill, and I was very worried. On my way here, I was thinking about how to cheer her up. But now that I’ve seen her today…”

She smiled playfully. “Cousin’s wife looks even better now than when she wasn’t ill.”

Radiant and exquisitely charming, so much so that even a woman like Dou Qingyue, who was infatuated with her “older male cousin,” couldn’t help but marvel at such a gentle and delicate lady.

But this lady was her rival in love.

Dou Qingyue’s lips were pale as she teased.

Pei Xuan, honest and upright, couldn’t outtalk her. Her face turned red as she helped Cui Ti to a seat, then turned to scold lightly: “Alright, alright, you know I’m not good with words. If you keep this up, I’ll get really angry.”

“Not good with words? Cousin is teasing. Yue’er is unwell herself but still cares about cousin’s wife. Cousin’s wife doesn’t find me annoying; only you do. How heartless.”

Pei Xuan, the “heartless,” smiled and offered her tea as an apology, while Cui Ti played the mediator.

Half an hour later, Dou Qingyue stood to take her leave.

Despite her physical discomfort, Cui Ti insisted on seeing her off. Her graceful figure, swaying waist, and the alluring way she walked made Pei Xuan see her as perfect in every way. But to Dou Qingyue, this scene stirred a deep, jealous rage.

She wanted to strangle Cui Ti.

That vixen!

She gritted her teeth, not expecting Cui Ti to catch her gaze with a faint smile, inadvertently challenging her.

In that instant, Dou Qingyue understood.

She had been provoked.

To say provoked might not be entirely accurate. More precisely, her affections had already lost to Cui Ti long ago, and now, Cui Ti was simply asserting her position as Young Madam Pei.

You can only dream.

Dou Qingyue swallowed her anger and bitterness.

The unspoken war between the two women came to an end, unnoticed by Pei Xuan, who tilted her head and asked gently, “Titi, are you tired?”

Cui Ti, having just sent off Dou Qingyue, was feeling triumphant and ready to be pampered. She didn’t expect Pei Xuan to come to her first.

She smiled, her lips curving upwards: “I’m tired. Hold me.”