Chapter 18 – Confessions

At the hour of the dragon, the newlyweds, having completed their morning preparations, walked hand in hand to the main hall to serve tea to their elders.

Strictly speaking, wherever Pei Xuan was, Cui Ti could no longer be considered truly blind. Nonetheless, she had to maintain the guise of blindness. Fortunately, after eighteen years of pretending, it had become second nature to her.

Following closely behind Pei Xuan, Cui Ti moved step by step, with Pei Xuan carefully supporting her arm and speaking softly, “Niangzi, take it slow.”

Every word and action seemed to embody gentleness.

It’s hard to say what Haozhong and Raoliang thought upon hearing this, but Bai Ge, standing behind Cui Ti, had never heard a man speak so tenderly, as if dripping with sweetness. The rumors were true: Gentleman Pei was indeed a good man, as gentle as a spring breeze.

The Pei Family, from the chancellor and his wife down to the lowliest maid, cherished this precious gem.

Bai Ge witnessed firsthand the spring-like warmth of the Pei family. Watching them walk shoulder to shoulder, she inwardly sighed at how her son-in-law was so affectionate, yet she felt a surge of joy for her lady.

Heaven had finally shown mercy, granting her lady a considerate and caring partner.

Pei Xuan, dressed in a crimson robe, matched the attire of Cui Ti walking to her left, making them look like a perfect couple.

As the morning light shone down, the servants of the inner courtyard saw their young madam for the first time. At first glance, they were surprised to see that the legitimate daughter of the Xining Count’s residence had such delicate features, like a living ink painting.

Seeing their gentleman’s attentive demeanor left them even more astonished-Pei Xuan, though always measured and rarely angry, was rarely this eager and enthusiastic.

Recalling how the gentleman had knelt all night to win her over, their perception of the blind young woman changed.

Pei Xuan, being the only son of the Pei family, often represented the family’s stance. The one he married as his legitimate wife would be the rightful Young Madam Pei and future miss of the household.

Even though Cui Ti couldn’t see the bowing and respectful servants, she could feel the subtle changes in the gazes directed at her. She knew it was all because of Pei Xuan.

From today onwards, when people mentioned her, they would first introduce her as Young Madam Pei, not just someone from the Xining Count’s residence.

First, they paid respects to their clothing, then to the people. It was the same in the previous lifetime. Many had looked down on her or pitied her, but only Pei Xuan had held her in high regard and treated her with utmost gentleness. Reflecting on this, Cui Ti’s fingers tightened slightly, hooking onto the little finger of Pei Xuan’s hand.

The two of them used their wide sleeves to obscure the view, pretending others were blind. Bai Ge couldn’t help but twitch her lips and thought to herself, I’ve never seen anyone so affectionate.

Pei Xuan loved it, her expression radiating happiness. The wind blew through her hair and the hem of her robe, their matching outfits intimately intertwined. She described the surrounding scenery to Cui Ti with great delight.

Pei Xuan had the talents of a Zhuangyuan, and her descriptions of flowers and trees made them seem like unparalleled earthly wonders. Initially, Cui Ti was anxious about meeting her in-laws, but Pei Xuan’s words gradually captivated her. Before she realized it, they had already stepped over the threshold of the main hall.

Chancellor Pei Rufeng had been rebellious in his youth, insisting that his daughter disguise herself as a boy to pursue an official career. Now in middle age, he had finally relented and risked arranging a marriage for her.

Today was a very special day. He and Madam Pei had dressed up early and were seated in the primary seats, waiting to drink the daughter-in-law tea.

Hearing the commotion outside, Pei Rufeng looked up. Madam Pei’s eyes brightened as she saw the beautiful couple approaching hand in hand.

If Xuan’er were truly a man, they would indeed be a perfect match.

This thought simultaneously surfaced in the minds of the couple. Pei Xuan, unaware of her parents’ thoughts, continued to support Cui Ti as they approached step by step.

“Greetings, Father, Mother,” Pei Xuan said.

“Greetings, Father,” Cui Ti said, bowing deeply. Pei Xuan then led her to bow to Madam Pei: “Greetings, Mother.”

The daughter-in-law tea, also known as the name-changing tea, signified that once she entered the Pei Family, she was part of the family, sharing in their fortunes and misfortunes. Her pleasant voice and graceful appearance stirred the hearts of the chancellor and his wife when she addressed them as “Father” and “Mother.”

They hadn’t expected their daughter to truly bring home a bride who met their approval. Seeing Pei Xuan’s undisguised joy, Madam Pei’s face softened with a smile.

They had come this far; what more could be done?

After drinking the tea offered by their daughter-in-law, Chancellor Pei gave a large red envelope. As a man, he couldn’t be too close to his daughter-in-law, but he sternly admonished his “son,” showing none of the imposing demeanor he had displayed at the Xining Count’s residence.

Madam Pei was much more approachable. She took out the family heirloom that had been prepared in advance.

The milky white jade disc was placed into Cui Ti’s palm. With a glance, she signaled Pei Xuan to help her niangzi stand.

In her previous lifetime, her mother-in-law had also given her the Heart-Nourishing Jade, though it had been done awkwardly. At that time, Cui Ti was considered unlucky, having caused Pei Xuan to fall from a wall and lose her Zhuangyuan title upon their first meeting.

This time, there was no such incident. Madam Pei treated her with kindness, partially out of pity for her tragic past.

The Heart-Nourishing Jade had been a precious heirloom of the Pei Family for generations. The jade disc came in a pair, with one hanging around Pei Xuan’s neck and the other with Cui Ti. The discs were intricately carved with lifelike fish patterns. In her previous life, Cui Ti had worn this jade until her death.

As a treasured family heirloom, the jade likely possessed extraordinary qualities. Cui Ti carefully rubbed the jade surface with her thumb, and a bold conjecture arose in her mind: perhaps her resurrection was directly related to this jade.

The chancellor was busy, so after drinking the daughter-in-law tea and sitting for a while, he left.

Madam Pei hadn’t slept well the night before. Hearing from her daughter that her identity had been well concealed, she was somewhat satisfied. However, when she discreetly asked if the marriage had been consummated and heard the answer, she was displeased.

“Why hasn’t it been consummated? Don’t you like her very much? You even quarreled with your father over her.”

“I do like her,” Pei Xuan replied honestly, not accustomed to lying. She said gently, “Maybe I like her too much and don’t want to offend her.”

“…”

If Pei Xuan hadn’t come from her own womb, Madam Pei would have labeled her a big “fool.”

She hesitated and then couldn’t hold back, speaking in an experienced tone, “She doesn’t know your true identity. You happily married her, but is she just for show? Outwardly, you are a man; there’s no reason for a woman to take the initiative. Xuan’er, behaving like this will hurt a woman’s feelings.”

“Really?”

Realizing that this would hurt Cui Ti, Pei Xuan was unsure, “According to Mom, what should I do?”

Madam Pei sighed, “Consummation is necessary. Xuan’er, don’t blame me for being harsh. As long as she hasn’t truly become a Pei Family woman, she remains a potential risk.”

…

“Fujun? Fujun?”

Cui Ti called out twice without a response. Gripping Pei Xuan’s sleeve, she noticed the troubled expression on her face and couldn’t help but wonder what her mother-in-law had said.

In May, the warm sunlight bathed the back garden, which was a riot of blossoming flowers. Though Cui Ti couldn’t see them, she turned her gaze back to Pei Xuan and noticed that the dazed Pei Xuan had already come to her senses.

“Did I do something wrong to make Mother worry?”

Pei Xuan was moved by her sensitivity and surprised at how perceptive she was. Turning to Haozhong and the others, she instructed them not to follow any further. Bai Ge hesitated for a moment but also stayed behind, watching her gentleman walk away with her young lady.

Other than the matter of cross-dressing, Pei Xuan no longer wanted to hide anything from Cui Ti.

As they walked, they encountered many blooming flowers. Pei Xuan casually picked one and tucked it into Cui Ti’s thick hair.

Placing flowers for each other as a couple was a delightful pastime. Pei Xuan slowly began, “Mother asked if we had consummated the marriage…”

Cui Ti’s face suddenly flushed, and her ears turned red as if they were about to catch fire. She lowered her head, too embarrassed to look at Pei Xuan. She also knew that since the beginning had changed, the course of events would change as well.

Her mother-in-law was now treating her with greater kindness. However, Pei Xuan, being a true woman, had married another woman. If that wife couldn’t devote herself wholeheartedly to Pei Xuan, it could spell trouble for the Chancellor’s Residence.

“W-what did you say?”

“How could I lie to Mother?”

In a sense, Pei Xuan was a true gentleman. She despised lying and deceiving a girl’s heart, yet there was one crucial thing she wanted to know.

She lifted her eyes to look at Cui Ti, only to see her head drooping, her chin almost touching her chest in embarrassment.

With a gentle finger, she lifted Cui Ti’s chin.

Her slender finger, with its soft yet irresistible force, made Cui Ti obediently raise her head.

Pei Xuan’s heart pounded, and the finger that lifted Cui Ti’s chin felt warm. She looked into Cui Ti’s clear, water-like eyes and cautiously asked, “Niangzi, are you even a little happy that I married you?”

“I…”

Cui Ti’s chest swelled with indescribable emotions, a thousand words stuck in her throat. She was afraid of frightening Pei Xuan and also of lowering her own standing too much. Her chest heaved, and her eyes misted with tears. “What about you?”

“What?”

“Did you marry me out of true love and admiration, thinking… thinking of marrying me?”

In Dazhao, propriety was paramount. Marriages adhered strictly to parental approval and the arrangement of matchmakers. Secret interactions before parental consent were considered clandestine affairs, leaving an indelible stain on one’s reputation.

Men could recover more easily from such scandals, but for women, the consequences were dire.

In this society, a woman’s purity was like a sword hanging over her head—any misstep could be fatal.

Thankfully, the two were already married, which gave Cui Ti the courage to ask her question. Little did Pei Xuan know, this courage was forged through life and death, accumulated over two lifetimes.

Her question left Pei Xuan speechless.

Pei Xuan stared at her, saying nothing.

Before, Cui Ti was blind and couldn’t see her face or read her thoughts. Now, she could see Pei Xuan clearly, but Pei Xuan was still under the illusion that she couldn’t be seen. Pei Xuan’s gaze was tender and filled with pity. The longer she looked, the more evident her deep-seated passion became.

Clearly, she had feelings for her.

Cui Ti was momentarily flustered by this gaze, taking a step back, which alarmed Pei Xuan into quickly grabbing her hand.

Palm to wrist, their skin contact felt like it was on fire.

Pei Xuan had boldly declared her affection in front of her parents, Song Zizhen, and Zheng Wuji, but in front of her new bride, she became much more reserved. Each word took an eternity to form, leaving Cui Ti’s heart to oscillate from warmth to coldness as she waited for a response.

Cui Ti began to doubt if Pei Xuan was mute and tried to pull her hand away. Sensing her attempt to flee, Pei Xuan, not having finished speaking, tightened her grip, “Niangzi, please don’t move.”

Cui Ti had waited a lifetime, even until death, for Pei Xuan’s confession. She thought she wouldn’t feel hurt, but hearing the words “don’t move,” tears welled up in her eyes. In a fit of pique, she lifted her foot and stepped on Pei Xuan’s delicate boot.

Bai Ge, unable to contain her worry, sneaked over to take a peek and caught sight of her young lady ‘domesticating’ Gentleman Pei.

Seeing this, she closed her eyes, pretending not to see, and felt proud of her lady for standing up for herself.

Before the tears could fall, Pei Xuan, in a refined manner, expressed her true feelings: “If it wasn’t love at first sight, how could I have risked everything just to be with you day and night? I… I truly, genuinely admire you.”