Chapter 2 – Pear Blossom White

“Why isn’t it raining yet?”

Bai Ge sat under the pear blossom tree, basking in the sun with Cui Ti. Hearing the question, she almost grinned from ear to ear. “Miss, how could you be so muddle-headed? The weather is perfect, with the sun shining brightly. Why would you want rain?”

After laughing, her expression suddenly changed. She lifted her arm, intending to touch Cui Ti’s forehead, but then thought better of it, feeling it might be too improper. With a worried look, she said, “Miss, don’t let your mind wander to such nonsense.”

She was convinced that Cui Ti’s recent high fever had affected her brain. Otherwise, why had she been ‘staring’ at that wall since yesterday? Could it be that the Miss no longer wanted to be a caged bird and was contemplating ending her suffering?

Fear can be paralyzing, and Bai Ge had scared herself silly, turning into a trembling little dove. In a low, cautious voice, she advised, “Take my word for it, Miss. It’s better to live miserably than to die. As long as you’re alive, there’s still hope. If you were to die, the people in the North Courtyard would laugh themselves awake from their dreams.”

Cui Ti tilted her head, looking at her blankly. “What nonsense are you talking about?”

“I…”

Bai Ge touched her nose, thinking to herself that she was speaking from the heart.

Despite being born of the same mother, the Miss and the ladies in the mansion were more like enemies than sisters. If something happened to the Miss, not only would they laugh awake, but Cui Dai might even laugh herself to death.

Some people’s eyes may be blind, but their hearts are not. Bai Ge, with her full faculties, couldn’t bring herself to speak the harsh truth.

She sighed, lamenting her fate of serving a miss who was constantly bullied. Pretending to slap herself, she added, “Oh, it was just my nonsense, Miss. Don’t take it to heart.”

“What about the nest of rabbits we raised? Go and secretly release them.”

“Release them?” Bai Ge’s eyes widened as she imagined the delicious roasted rabbits slipping away. “Why do we need to release them?”

Because in a couple of days, Cui Dai’s people would come, and those rabbits would be tortured to death.

Missing limbs, blood everywhere—Cui Dai would describe it to her while ordering people to twist the rabbits’ heads off, big and small, none would escape her cruelty.

“Alright, alright, I’ll release them!” Seeing Cui Ti’s pale face and clenched fists, Bai Ge dared not ask any further. She got up and headed towards the rabbit cage.

Cui Ti’s tense back slowly relaxed. Pear blossoms, blown by the spring wind, fell onto her thin shoulders.

Her thick, ink-black hair flowed down, contrasting with her pale face. The white gauze covering her eyes only highlighted her inherent calmness and gentleness.

“Miss, I’m back.”

“Did you release them all?”

Bai Ge nodded emphatically. “Yes!”

The more certain Bai Ge sounded, the more suspicious Cui Ti became. “Not a single one left behind, they all have to be set free.”

“They’re all free, all of them! The rabbits hopped away more joyfully than we ever could.” She had her hands behind her back, clutching a plump grey rabbit. Its companions had run away, leaving the grey rabbit kicking and struggling, unwilling to face death.

After a moment of silence, Cui Ti sighed softly. “Bai Ge, I can’t see. You mustn’t lie to me.”

These words hit Bai Ge in the softest part of her heart. She brought the grey rabbit to the front, her eyes as red as the rabbit’s. “I didn’t mean to deceive you, Miss. Tomorrow is your eighteenth birthday. I kept this one to celebrate with you. I can’t let it go.”

Eighteen, Cui Ti realized.

She always knew Bai Ge’s loyalty, knew that Bai Ge saw her as more than just a miss. Unlike Cui Dai, Bai Ge truly respected her like an elder sister.

“I’ve been a burden to you all these years.”

“You’re not a burden.” Bai Ge held the rabbit tightly, fearing that Cui Ti would use an emotional appeal to soften her resolve. No matter what, this rabbit must be sacrificed for her Miss’s birthday feast tomorrow!

Seeing that persuasion wasn’t working, Cui Ti pressed on, “Isn’t there still rice in the jar?”

The rice was specially sent by Cui Dai yesterday.

Bai Ge was nearly in tears with anger. “It’s your birthday; we won’t eat the rice she sent! She’s trying to humiliate us. You shouldn’t have to endure that!”

Eating her rice would be like admitting defeat to her!

Cui Ti’s smile faded slightly.

Worried that she had said something wrong and made Cui Ti sad, Bai Ge was about to soften her tone when Cui Ti spoke quietly, “The rice belongs to the Cui Family. No matter how unloved I am, I still bear the surname Cui. As the eldest daughter of the Xining Count, eating the rice from the Xining Count’s residence has nothing to do with Cui Dai.

“She wants to humiliate me, but I won’t degrade myself. She wants me dead, so I’ll live well. Even if it’s just out of spite, I need to fill my stomach first.”

In a previous lifetime, this rabbit had died miserably for her. In this lifetime, she wanted it to live happily as a fat rabbit.

“Release it.”

Bai Ge was persuaded and let go of the rabbit. Surprisingly, the grey rabbit didn’t rush away immediately. Instead, it rubbed against the hem of Cui Ti’s skirt before turning and disappearing into the grass, finding a rabbit hole it had dug at some point.

Cui Ti couldn’t see this scene, so Bai Ge, who acted as her eyes, narrated it. She said with a smile, “Miss, even the little bunny knows how to be grateful.”

“Yes, I’m hungry.”

Bai Ge’s mouth twitched, still feeling a pang of heartache over the loss of the rabbits.

“I’ll go cook for you right away.”

She glanced at Cui Ti a few times, sighing deeply. “Miss, you are just too kind-hearted.”

Which family’s eldest daughter doesn’t have a feast laid out for her birthday? But now, they had no delicacies, and even the rabbit meat had hopped away.

Born of the same parents, Bai Ge felt indignant for her: Why was her Miss’s fate so bitter?

She blinked away the tears threatening to fall and turned to prepare the meal.

The Miss was right; the rice was from the Cui Family, and as the Count’s eldest daughter, it was only right for her to eat it. What did Cui Dai have to do with it?

March 3rd was both Cui Ti’s and Cui Dai’s birthday.

The North Courtyard was bustling with activity. Count Xining and his wife were throwing a grand birthday banquet for their beloved daughter. Few remembered the blind girl in the broken-tiled house of the South Courtyard.

Even if they did remember, they thought it was not worth mentioning.

A blind girl.

Born to be viewed by her parents as an ill-omened burden.

Yet today was also a day worth celebrating for this same blind girl.

“After today, Miss, you will be of age and can talk about marriage.” Bai Ge wiped away a tear, her eyes red as she looked at her naturally beautiful miss. “I wonder which gentleman will be so fortunate. If you ask me, you have the best looks and figure in the world…”

Cui Ti sat there in a daze.

The air was damp, filled with the scent of soil and pear blossoms.

It had rained in the latter half of the night, leaving her too excited to sleep. Closing her eyes, memories of past events surfaced in her dreams, making her afraid it was all just a dream and that Pei Xuan wouldn’t come.

Bai Ge saw everything good in her, but she knew that in the vast Xijing City, among all the well-bred young men, only Pei Xuan was willing to marry her and cherish her in his heart.

He wouldn’t humiliate her, wouldn’t mistreat her, and truly saw her as a girl worth cherishing.

She couldn’t understand why Pei Xuan, who didn’t love her, would go against everyone to marry her.

In her dream, she had been the Young Madam Pei for three years. Pei Xuan rarely kissed her, and their most intimate moment was when he came back drunk, muddled, and held her, touched her.

Fearing he had mistaken her for someone else, she cautiously asked him, and he called her “Niangzi1,” each time making her breath quicken. In a moment of confusion, she bit Pei Xuan’s lower lip.

The bite woke him up.

The sober Pei Xuan was a different person, gentle and restrained, the gentleman praised by everyone in Xijing.

He helped her put on her half-removed clothes, tenderly smoothing the wrinkled fabric on her chest, “It’s my fault, I scared you.”

That was the closest she had ever been to him.

In a moment of hesitation, she missed the chance to repay him by bearing his children.

After that, Pei Xuan gave up drinking, sipping tea at home and touching no alcohol outside.

He still kissed her, held her, properly and briefly, unlike other couples, but there was nothing else to criticize about him except that he wouldn’t consummate their marriage.

“People are only human; no one is perfect,” Bai Ge continued counting, listing how wonderful her Miss was.

Cui Ti heard these words and suddenly understood. She had been obsessed. Pei Xuan was willing to make a lifelong commitment to her, remained chaste, and didn’t keep any other women outside. She should be content; the most dazzling gentleman in Xijing had become her husband.

Love isn’t always necessary for living a good life.

Perhaps Pei Xuan wasn’t a normal man, not needing her to bear children for him, or maybe he had some hidden ailment that made it impossible.

Bai Ge had no idea that her casual words had sent Cui Ti’s thoughts far away. She used long chopsticks to pick up a white rice dumpling, “Miss, make a wish!”

At eighteen, Cui Ti earnestly made a wish to the heavens:

I want to meet him again.

In the North Courtyard, Cui Dai enjoyed the praise of the crowd, almost pouting because her favorite spring pancakes were missing from the feast.

In the south courtyard, Cui Ti took a bite of the dumpling, savoring its fragrance. She smiled, “Delicious.”

After a simple celebration of her eighteenth birthday, she had to ‘look’ at that wall again. Bai Ge couldn’t understand what was so fascinating about the wall and adjusted her Miss’s position with a puzzled expression.

“Baibai, do I look good today?”

Bai Ge laughed heartily at this question. “You look wonderful, truly wonderful. Miss, you need to know that a true beauty would look good even in a sackcloth.”

She praised Cui Ti’s beauty as much as she could, and Cui Ti raised her eyebrows. “Alright, I get it. No need to keep flattering me.”

The spring breeze gently brushed against her delicate eyebrows and eyes. She wore a water-red dress, and her embroidered shoes had faded by more than half, making it hard to see their original patterns. Her hair was neatly held up with a pearwood hairpin. She waited patiently, always waiting, until noon, and then, until the afternoon.

“Baibai.”

“What is it, Miss?”

“Go and lay a large straw mat by the wall.”

“Miss, we don’t have any extra large straw mats.”

They were so poor that they didn’t even have a spare mat!

Cui Ti remained silent, then smiled after a while. “No matter, take the one from my bed.”

Bai Ge didn’t understand and felt that Cui Ti was obsessed. She opened her mouth to say something but turned and went to get it anyway.

After laying out the straw mat, Bai Ge couldn’t hold back her confusion any longer. “Miss, why are we laying a straw mat here? It just rained, the ground is still wet. Won’t the mud dirty the mat?”

“Yes.”

Bai Ge waited to hear more, but after a long while, her Miss closed her mouth again.

“Gentleman, be careful! It rained last night, the ground is slippery!”

A young man in a pear blossom white spring shirt, full of youthful exuberance, replied, “It’s best right after it rains. The air is fresh, and it’s perfect for a stroll. Besides, the Metropolitan Examination is over. If I’m not allowed to have some fun, won’t I be stifled?”

As he spoke, the kite he was flying broke free. He furrowed his brows. “My kite!”

“Oh no, Miss, how did a kite float in here?”

Cui Ti turned her head at the sound. “Don’t talk. Step back a few steps.”

“Oh.”

Why is she acting so strangely?

The spring wind was warm and gentle. Leaves swirled and danced in the air. Pei Xuan stood outside the wall, troubled for a moment, then gritted her teeth and rolled up her sleeves, beginning to climb a tree.

Huffing and puffing, she finally managed to climb to the top of the wall. Just then, her old servant’s shout startled her.

“Oh no!”

As she fell, she thought this tumble would surely injure her so badly that she wouldn’t be able to participate in the palace examination2.

Pei Xuan protected her waist as she got up, confirming that her hands and feet were unhurt. Only then did she have the leisure to notice the straw mat on the ground.

How strange. Who would place a straw mat here for no reason?

She looked up.

Footnote: 

• Niangzi(娘子): A term used specifically in ancient China to refer to one’s own wife.