Chapter 21 – Only You

The newly appointed Zhuangyuan and Editor of the Hanlin Academy, Cui Ti knew this special treatment was reserved exclusively for his first wife, as in their previous lifetime, he had been accustomed to doing these little things.

When Cui Ti shyly nodded her head, Pei Xuan held her wrist, picked up a piece of peeled shrimp with long chopsticks, and lightly dipped it in the sauce dish. The intimate gesture made Cui Ti blush, her face blooming with rosy flowers.

Watching from the side, Bai Tang clicked her tongue in amazement and cautiously observed. She noticed that Madam Pei did not seem to mind her ‘son’ being taken by her daughter-in-law, which made Bai Tang feel a bit relieved.

Madam Pei not only didn’t feel displeased but also shared Bai Tang’s amused curiosity, watching the interaction between the two.

She used to feel sorry for her ‘son,’ who, trapped in a man’s shell, was forced to be overly reserved by reality, lacking any youthful spirit. But now, Pei Xuan was naturally attentive, ensuring the shrimp made its way to Cui Ti’s mouth.

In silent reflection, she began to see her daughter in a new light.

Dou Qingyue opened her mouth in vain, tasting nothing but jealousy. She laughed and said, “Cousin treats his wife with such meticulous care.”

Pei Xuan remained calm at this remark, while Cui Ti, not wanting to engage with Dou Qingyue too much, pretended not to hear and savored the shrimp, feeling as if her heart was wrapped in honey.

The Dou Family was also an official family, and Dou Qingyue was a true official’s daughter. Staring intently at a plate of shrimp at the dining table was quite unseemly.

Noticing her gaze, Madam Pei teased her for being greedy, “Xuan’er, peel a shrimp for your younger female cousin as well.”

“Mom, men and women should not touch hands in passing things,” Pei Xuan replied, wiping her hands with a damp cloth. She then took a shrimp peeled by Bai Tang and placed it next to Dou Qingyue, sincerely saying, “Qingyue, eat this.”

This unromantic gesture almost made Dou Qingyue lose her pitiful expression—was she craving just a shrimp?

Her disappointment was visibly apparent.

To appease her, Madam Pei personally peeled a small plate of shrimp, but Dou Qingyue only tasted a bit before claiming she felt unwell and couldn’t eat anymore.

A typical case of making a fuss.

As expected, after finishing the meal with Cui Ti, Pei Xuan was asked by her mother to take her younger female cousin for a walk in the garden.

In May, the weather was clear. Earlier, Cui Ti had been taken on a walk through the back garden. It was refreshing to stroll with Pei Xuan, but the presence of the frail Miss Dou made the atmosphere awkward.

It wasn’t that Pei Xuan deliberately ignored her younger female cousin; she was always mindful of her “male identity,” adhering to the principles of “male virtue” and avoiding close interactions with other women to prevent making Cui Ti uneasy.

“Pei Xuan,” Dou Qingyue said coyly as they neared the end of the path. “Pei Xuan, you standing here makes it inconvenient for me to speak with Cui Ti.”

“You can talk; I won’t listen,” Pei Xuan replied.

“Fujun,” Cui Ti said, shaking her hand. “I want to chat with Qingyue too.”

Pei Xuan looked troubled but eventually relented. “Then I’ll come back to find you later?”

Behind them, Bai Tang stifled a laugh. Gentleman Pei was truly something else-clinging to his Niangzi after marriage was quite adorable.

Dou Qingyue watched Pei Xuan’s departing figure, feeling increasingly irritated. She covered her mouth and coughed a few times, her face showing a hint of pallor. “Cui Ti, sometimes I envy you. Older male cousin is a dragon among people; so many noble girls in Xi Jing dream of marrying her, yet she only has eyes for you. How did you two meet?”

Cui Ti couldn’t quite read her intentions and was wary, so she briefly recounted how she and Pei Xuan first met. Dou Qingyue seemed to understand. “So, it was love at first sight for older male cousin?”

“Perhaps,” Cui Ti replied.

“And for you?” Dou Qingyue hesitated. “Cui Ti, don’t be offended. I’m just curious and asked too much.”

As long as she wasn’t speaking directly to Pei Xuan, Cui Ti found it easier to talk about love. She said softly, “Xingguang is wonderful. Having met such a gentleman, I believe no one could dislike her.”

Bai Tang, supporting her arm, nodded secretly. If she were a girl and had a gentleman who didn’t mind her blindness and low status and treated her with genuine affection, she would be deeply fond of him too.

“You are lucky.” Dou Qingyue remarked.

Cui Ti paused, not sure how to respond.

Was she fortunate?

With Pei Xuan in her life, she certainly was fortunate.

But Pei Xuan had appeared when she was eighteen. Before that, her life was far from good. She often went hungry and cold and was bullied and ridiculed by servants.

Cui Ti had no intention of revealing too much to Dou Qingyue. She smiled and said, “Meeting Xingguang truly is my blessing.”

Excluded from the women’s conversation, Pei Xuan found herself rather bored, resting alone in the pavilion. As she watched the sun slowly sink into the clouds, she stood up and muttered, “Do they really have that much to talk about?”

At that moment, Dou Qingyue and Bai Tang appeared at the corner of the back garden, supporting Cui Ti on either side. The oppressive and monotonous atmosphere was instantly lifted. Seeing her Fujun walking toward her, Cui Ti’s heart, which had been quiet for half the day, suddenly filled with joy.

“Alright, cousin, I’m returning your wife to you.” Dou Qingyue said cheerfully.

Pei Xuan usually doted on this younger female cousin and never spoke harshly to her. However, having waited in the pavilion for so long, she had run out of patience for the frail girl. “Go find Mom. She has been talking about you for days.”

Dou Qingyue continued to smile gently. “Then I’ll take my leave, cousin, Sister-in-law.”

“Go on,” Pei Xuan replied.

As twilight fell, Dou Qingyue’s figure, walking in the wind, evoked a sense of pity. Her occasional coughs echoed in the air. Memories of time spent with her younger female cousin flashed through Pei Xuan’s mind, but these were soon overshadowed by the sight of the person before her. “I thought A Yue would never let you go.”

Hearing the longing in Pei Xuan’s words, Cui Ti lowered her head and teased, “Does Fujun think I’m some kind of delicacy?”

“Niangzi is as radiant as the moon and as beautiful as jade; why belittle yourself?”

Pei Xuan took her hand, and the two strolled leisurely in the dusk, chatting and laughing.

Bai Tang watched them and felt deeply moved. Her young lady had finally found happiness after all the hardships.

In the evening, someone from the Dou Family came to take Dou Qingyue away. With her departure, the weight pressing on Cui Ti’s heart was lifted. Only then did she realize that she had indeed seen Dou Qingyue as a threat.

“What are you smiling about?” Pei Xuan asked.

Cui Ti chuckled, “I’m laughing at myself for being a coward.”

Anyone healthy could pose a threat to her.

“There’s nothing shameful about being afraid. Fear is a natural response to the unknown. But once you pierce that veil of the unknown, the fear often dissipates,” Pei Xuan said, using a thick towel to dry her wet hair. Cui Ti couldn’t help but steal glances at her.

“Is there anything Fujun is afraid of?” Cui Ti asked.

“Many things,” Pei Xuan replied, sitting on a wooden stool with her hair cascading down. In her current state, the refined and scholarly demeanor of the ‘young man’ transformed into a gentle softness. Anyone seeing her like this would never mistake her for a man.

She was unguarded around Cui Ti, knowing her reserved and shy nature meant she wouldn’t take the initiative. Feeling at ease, she continued, “As a child, I was afraid of mice and snakes. In my youth, I feared the stern faces of my teachers. Now, I fear not living up to my parents’ expectations and disappointing Your Majesty. Fear is normal; it drives us to overcome challenges. That’s growth.”

Sitting opposite her, Cui Ti admired Pei Xuan without blinking, feeling an uncontrollable urge to confide in her. “I’m afraid people will despise me for being a blind girl, afraid you’ll abandon me.”

“Niangzi?”

“Xingguang,” she said softly, “I’m really happy that you married me.”

Under the lamplight, the petite woman earnestly expressed her happiness. Pei Xuan’s heart was touched. How could she not be happy to marry Cui Ti? In this world, how many are lucky enough to marry the one they love?

Heaven had indeed been kind to her.

Ensuring her undergarments covered her chest properly without revealing any secrets, Pei Xuan stood and walked over to her. “Niangzi, being unable to see is not your fault. Never punish yourself for it. We are husband and wife for one day, and we will be husband and wife for a lifetime. How could I ever abandon you?”

There was still one fear she hadn’t shared with Cui Ti: the fear that her Niangzi would turn away from her once she learned the truth. In this sense, she was also a coward.

“But in Dazhao, it’s common for men to have multiple wives and concubines. Some start with sweet words and promises but eventually break them. You’re the most illustrious young man in Xi Jing, while I am a blind girl, unloved by the Xining Count’s residence. If not for you, who knows how long I would have remained in that small courtyard? A woman’s life, good or bad, is not in her own hands…”

“The men you’re talking about are not me,” Pei Xuan patiently reassured her. “One wife is enough for me. I will keep my word and never let you down.”

Cui Ti snuggled up to her. Though her heart had already been lightened by Pei Xuan’s reassurances and she truly appreciated her Fujun’s promise of “only one,” she couldn’t help but smile silently.

The inner chamber was quiet, with the only sound being the beating of two hearts close to each other.

After a while, Editor Pei, who prided herself on being a ‘man,’ gathered her courage and quietly suggested, “Niangzi, it’s getting late. Shall we go to bed?”