Chapter 211 – Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates

The instant Sophie cuddled against Lin Xi, a soft, sweet scent flooded her senses, almost too delicious to resist.

Had she not known Lin Xi could hold her own against three Magical Girls, Sophie would have sunk her fangs in before she could stop herself.

Why did she smell so… irresistible???!!!

“Sorry!” Once Sophie regained her footing, she quickly backed away, a perfectly bashful smile on her face.

“It’s too windy up here. We should head back down.” Lin Xi breathed a quiet sigh of relief and secretly snuffed out the flame burning in her right hand behind her back.

If Sophie had tried to drink her blood, Lin Xi would not have hesitated to use Flame Fist.

A girl as adorable as Sophie would probably cry for a very long time after taking a punch…

But!

Being adorable did not give Sophie a free pass. Lin Xi had absolutely no intention of becoming anyone’s blood bag.

“All right. Thank you for bringing me up here, Miss Lin Xi. Let’s go.”

Lin Xi turned and walked ahead while Sophie followed at an unhurried pace.

As long as the enemy made no move, neither would Lin Xi. She would not attack Sophie first.

She planned to keep this Vampire Princess under covert observation. As it happened, Sophie was thinking exactly the same thing.

Since Sophie had no confidence she could defeat Lin Xi, she was even less inclined to make the first move.

The two returned to the classroom without incident.

Lin Xi had barely sat down when she received a message from Shi Yu.

Only you could hook up with the new girl this quickly.

Shi Yu followed it with three angry stickers.

Lin Xi: “…”

She immediately rose, went straight over, and asked Shi Yu to step into the hall for a little chat.

Once they reached an empty stretch of corridor, Lin Xi got straight to the point.

“Sophie is a Vampire Princess.”

“And I did not hook up with the new girl. The teacher assigned me to show her around campus.”

“A Vampire Princess?!” Shi Yu looked genuinely surprised. “How did you figure that out???”

“That… That part isn’t important,” Lin Xi said. “I have reasonable grounds to suspect Sophie transferred all the way from B City specifically to join our class. She wants to drink someone’s blood-anyone’s except yours, obviously.”

Shi Yu had an artificial body. Vampires probably had no interest in artificial blood…

“What if she came for you?” Shi Yu asked.

Lin Xi: “???”

“Impossible!”

“I don’t even know her!”

“Don’t be so sure,” Shi Yu warned her. “You still haven’t recovered your memories, remember? Maybe you did know Sophie and simply forgot her.”

Lin Xi: “…”

That was… actually possible.

If the Cuddle Witch had marked Sophie as a cuddle target, perhaps it was because the Cuddle Witch had once visited B City and met Sophie there.

“But I showed her around the entire campus, and she never said we’d met before.”

“Ah. Maybe I knew her, but she didn’t know me.”

It could have been like the situation with Thor: the Cuddle Witch had known Thor and marked her as a cuddle target, but Thor had never known the Cuddle Witch at all.

The Cuddle Witch had dug some impressively deep holes for her future self…

“Nothing special happened while you two were alone, did it?” Shi Yu narrowed her eyes meaningfully.

“What kind of person do you think I am?” Lin Xi shot back. “She’s a Vampire Princess. She’s suspicious and dangerous.”

“Heh. Just answer one question-did you cuddle or not?” Shi Yu struck straight at the heart of the matter.

Lin Xi: “…”

Shi Yu truly was a master detective…

“We accidentally cuddled.”

“But!”

“I think she wanted to drink my blood, even though she didn’t actually bite me in the end.”

“Honestly…” Shi Yu shook her head in exasperation. “As expected of the Harem King of Z City No. 1 Middle School. There really is nothing you won’t cuddle.”

“Slander! Blatant slander!” Lin Xi pointed at Shi Yu in outrage. “Keep this up and I’ll sue you for defamation!”

Labels like Harem King and King of Ten Thousand Females were the ultimate humiliation for a Pure-Love Warrior like Lin Xi!

She warned Shi Yu that if she slandered her as a Harem King one more time, their friendship was over.

Shi Yu: “…”

“So you’re allowed to build a harem, but nobody’s allowed to talk about it? Is there no justice left? No law?”

“Okay, Miss Shi Yu.” Lin Xi gave her a beaming smile. “From this day forward, you and I are strangers.”

“Don’t! I was wrong, Xixi. Won’t you forgive me?”

A shudder ran through Lin Xi. “I brought you out here to discuss something serious. How did the conversation turn into… whatever this is?”

“I really should have gone to Zheng Mo or Qin Ling instead.”

Lin Xi turned to return to the classroom, but Shi Yu caught her hand.

“W-what are you doing? What if someone sees us?” Lin Xi hastily pulled her hand free.

“I have something serious to discuss with you too.”

“Go on.”

“Our brush with death taught me an important truth.”

“Oh? Master Shi Yu has attained enlightenment? What profound truth did you discover?”

Shi Yu assumed a solemn expression. “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.”

“Maybe it’ll be chocolate-flavored shit. Maybe it’ll be shit-flavored chocolate.”

Lin Xi rolled her eyes. “I told you to let me take you to a psychiatric hospital for an examination, but you refused to listen. Now look at you-your condition has gotten worse.”

“If you’re not going to speak like a normal person, I’m going back to class.”

Shi Yu finally started talking sense. “What I’m trying to say is, we almost got locked up in the Undersea Prison this time.”

“We escaped, but what about next time?”

“We never know what will come first-tomorrow or the unexpected.”

“If I really get locked up, I’ll never fulfill my two greatest wishes.”

Shi Yu asked Lin Xi to guess what those wishes were. Lin Xi turned to leave, so Shi Yu had no choice but to reveal them herself.

“My first wish is to marry you.”

“Not a chance,” Lin Xi replied, simple and direct.

“My second wish is to draw a pure-love manga with you. And don’t say ‘not a chance’-you already promised me that one.”

Lin Xi did remember making that promise. “If you want to restart the manga project, just say so. I’ll cooperate, but we split the royalties fifty-fifty.”

“Deal.” Shi Yu went on to explain that she had not been deliberately beating around the bush. “Nearly dying really did make me understand a lot of things.”

Lin Xi showed no mercy. “Managing to attain enlightenment through ‘chocolate-flavored shit and shit-flavored chocolate’ really couldn’t have been easy.”

Shi Yu: “…”

After agreeing to draw the manga with Shi Yu, Lin Xi returned to the classroom-only to find Yang Shanshan and Sophie chatting rather enthusiastically.

Lin Xi: “???”

At lunch, Lin Xi had worried that soft-spoken Yang Shanshan might become Sophie’s blood bag, so she had hinted that Shanshan should keep her distance.

Had Shanshan already tossed her warning out of her mind???

When Lin Xi drew closer, she finally discovered what they were discussing.

Her!

That was right. Sophie and Yang Shanshan were talking about Lin Xi.

And when Lin Xi was the subject, Yang Shanshan suddenly had plenty to say.

“What? Miss Lin Xi has a fan club?” Sophie exclaimed. Lin Xi, who had just reached her seat, was equally shocked.

This was bad. Catastrophically bad!!!

The very thing Lin Xi had feared was happening. Yang Shanshan smiled and asked:

“Miss Sophie, would you like me to add you to the Sun Goddess Fan Chat?”

Lin Xi felt as though the sky had collapsed and the earth had split open beneath her.

Let Sophie into that utterly unhinged fan chat of hers?

Nooooooooo-anything but that!