Chapter 20 – The Broad Minds of the Mentally Ill

“Dammit!”

“Perverted Witch, are you touching me again?!”

“And on the leg, no less?!”

Shi Yu jolted awake from her hazy slumber.

Then, she realized with some embarrassment that it had all been a dream.

Lin Xi, sleeping beside her, hadn’t crossed any lines. Outside, the sun was already high in the sky.

Today was Saturday, a day off, so she hadn’t set an alarm.

“Another full night’s sleep…” Shi Yu didn’t know why, but having this Perverted Witch lying next to her seemed to have improved her sleep quality.

Usually, when she slept alone, she would often wake up in the middle of the night, startled by the past. Memories of the moments before her parents were murdered would replay in her mind, and she would lie there in the silence until the alarm rang.

Perhaps, being alone before had been a bit lonely…

Shi Yu quietly slipped back under the covers, turning on her side to watch Lin Xi, who was still sleeping soundly.

“Heartless girl. Her sleep quality really is top-tier.”

Shi Yu felt a sudden urge to pinch Lin Xi’s nose and wake the Perverted Witch up by cutting off her air.

“A little prank shouldn’t hurt, right?”

Shi Yu silently reached out toward Lin Xi’s face, her thumb and index finger ready.

Just as she was about to make her move, Lin Xi woke up.

“Crap!”

Lin Xi bolted upright like she was rising from her deathbed.

“Shi Yu, you pervert! You animal!”

“What were you trying to do while I was asleep?!”

“Were you touching my face?!” Lin Xi’s face flushed crimson. “So you actually have that kind of hobby?”

“Even so, you can’t just sneakily put your hands on me-“

Lin Xi only shut her mouth when Shi Yu pressed the barrel of a gun against her forehead.

Shi Yu said coldly, “Touch you? In your dreams!”

“I was actually planning to pinch your nose and cover your mouth to see how long you could hold your breath.”

Lin Xi: “…”

“We’re teammates, aren’t we? Don’t you think pointing a gun at your teammate’s head is a bit much?”

“Also, stop bringing guns into my house!”

Lin Xi lay back down and rolled over. “Fine, shoot me or strangle me, do whatever you want.”

Shi Yu put the gun away and barked, “Get up.”

Wrapped in the duvet, Lin Xi said languidly, “Please, it’s Saturday.”

“So what if it’s Saturday?” Shi Yu countered. “Early to bed and early to rise, maintaining self-discipline-that’s the only way to stay full of energy.”

Lin Xi refused to be a high-energy girl.

Being a Shut-in Perverted Cuddle Witch, Lin Xi figured that a Cuddle Witch’s weekend must involve staying cooped up at home all day.

First, sleep until noon. After waking up, eat potato chips, drink soda, and read yuri manga. That was how a beautiful weekend should be spent.

She had to at least achieve the first point-sleeping until noon!

Whoosh-

The duvet covering her was ruthlessly yanked away. Shivering from the cold, Lin Xi curled up and turned around.

“What-are-you-doing-“

“Shi Yu, people who strip others of their blankets get struck by lightning!”

Shi Yu rolled up the duvet. “Let the heavens try to strike me then. It’ll be a good way to loosen up my joints.”

Lin Xi sat up helplessly. “Fine, tell me. Why did you have to wake me up? What do you want?”

“Don’t tell me it’s just because you want me to make you breakfast.”

Shi Yu replied, “First, you are going to make me breakfast.”

“Second, once we’re done eating, I’m going to start helping you recover your memories.”

“My ‘Great Memory Restoration Technique’ will finally have a chance to shine.”

“Huh?!” Lin Xi cried out in shock. “You’re serious?”

“Of course I’m serious. Before the next set of mission instructions arrives, I’m going to make sure you remember how to use your powers as a witch.”

Shi Yu’s mysterious confidence sent a chill down Lin Xi’s spine.

Lin Xi knew exactly whether she had amnesia or not. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to recover her memories as the Cuddle Witch, but it was like trying to solve the final, most difficult question on a math exam-she simply had no idea where to start.

“How exactly do you plan on helping me recover my memories?” Lin Xi asked, feeling a bit apprehensive.

Shi Yu told her to go prepare breakfast and not to worry about anything else.

This only made Lin Xi more uneasy. She was terrified that a pervert like Shi Yu would do something reckless.

After breakfast, while Lin Xi was clearing the dishes and wiping the table, Shi Yu slipped into the room without a word and brought out Lin Xi’s backpack.

“Perverted Witch,” Shi Yu said with a wicked smirk, “my ‘Great Memory Restoration Technique’ requires a few support items. I’ve brought them all, so you should be grateful for how considerate I am.”

Shi Yu pulled a stun gun out of the backpack.

Lin Xi’s scalp went numb. “Grateful?! I’ll give you grateful, you lunatic!”

“What are you planning to do to me with that thing?!”

Shi Yu replied with a straight face, “Electrotherapy. It’ll stimulate your cerebral blood circulation. I’m sure it’ll help you remember something.”

“Oh, and I have this wad of cotton cloth to gag you with, just so you don’t disturb the neighbors with your screaming.”

Lin Xi snatched up a kitchen knife. “Don’t… don’t you come any closer!”

“You don’t want to help me recover my memories at all! You just want to torture me to satisfy your perverted desires!”

“Who the hell uses electric shocks to help a patient recover their memory?!”

Lin Xi wasn’t surprised at all that Shi Yu had such a mess of tools. After all, this girl was a doujinshi artist; she must have drawn all sorts of explicit and violent things.

“I think your claim of helping me recover my memories is a lie, and you just want to satisfy your twisted urges!”

“I would rather die than be humiliated!”

When it came to her innocence and reputation, Lin Xi would never back down.

“Heh,” Shi Yu sneered. “Don’t mistake my kindness for ill intent.”

“This memory restoration technique is truly effective.”

“It works every single time. You’ll understand once you experience it for yourself.”

Shi Yu pressed forward, step by step.

Lin Xi didn’t believe a word of Shi Yu’s nonsense. She wasn’t a criminal, so why should she be treated like this?

“Stay back!” Lin Xi warned. “If you come any closer, I’ll… I’ll-“

Lin Xi whipped out her phone. “I’ll call for backup!”

Shi Yu chuckled. “You want to call Lu Yi for help? Save your breath. Lu Yi is very busy on Saturdays and Sundays.”

“Busy with what?”

“Lu Yi works part-time at a cat-ear maid cafe. She’s actually their top maid. The manager offered her triple wages and told her she doesn’t even have to clock in, as long as she tries her best to show up on weekends.”

Lu Yi was already a Neko, so her cat-ear maid outfit… Lin Xi fantasized about Lu Yi dressed as a maid, saying shyly:

“Welcome home, Master, nya~”

“Hehehe…” Lin Xi let out a silly giggle.

Seeing Lin Xi’s dazed, foolish expression, Shi Yu flared up with rage. “How disgusting, you pervert!”

“Fantasizing about Lu Yi in broad daylight?!”

Lin Xi retorted, “Shi Yu, a normie like you will probably never understand the sheer power a Neko holds over us 2D-loving Otaku.”

“Besides, Lu Yi is a slightly airheaded Neko. She’s right in my strike zone!”

Shi Yu’s face darkened. “It seems the single session I planned for you is far from enough.”

Lin Xi: “…”

Just as she and Shi Yu were about to engage in a game of cat and mouse, the doorbell rang.